Today, I believe in myself.

Hello world!

I haven't written in this blog for months. I thought I didn't miss it, but as I type these words on my MacBook, I'm starting to realize how much I love it and I'm thinking of starting again. (I can't say I'm committed to it, but still haha). My absence can be explained by a mix of being extremely occupied with school (and Netflix), laziness, but mostly out of being discouraged.

I started this blog mainly to talk about makeup, because I have such a huge obsession with it and all this stuff I want to share with people and this was a place where I could just talk about it in a super casual way without acting as if I'm an expert because I am NOT and never will be haha. But the last blog post I ever put up was one about self-confidence and the importance of loving yourself and it felt a little weird to start writing about lipstick the next day... I guess I thought it would look juvenile in comparison. I slowly started to doubt everything I ever wanted to put out on the internet. I would take photos of my new makeup brushes and decide it wasn't good enough. I would write long blog posts on tips and products and thought I sounded stupid. I watched my peers started their own blogs on such important issues and motivational posts and I thought I looked so silly writing about my hair. I just didn't believe anything my brain thought was interesting mattered anymore.

I'm not going to lie, even now, I am self-conscious about my blog. When people mention it to me, I brush it off and act like it was some silly project I started in my first year of uni out of boredom. But that's not how I used to see it. I was really proud of it at one point but I let self-doubt completely ruin it.

I don't think makeup is the most pressing issue in the world, but at the same time, I was really happy writing in this little space of mine at one point. I liked that I could write about things confidently. My friends encouraged me and it made me feel happy.

So, I'm making a comeback on this space. I want to get over this fear that I think people are judging me. So what if they are? I've lived most of my life in confidence and security. I'm usually so good at pushing away self-doubt and I don't want that to stop now. If I want to write about lipstick, I will. But if I want to talk about body confidence and self-love, I'll write about that too. I'm getting out of this crazy idea that writing about fun stuff and writing about important stuff is mutually exclusive, because truth is, all of it interests me. Today, I will believe in myself and do what I want because I want to do it. I encourage everyone to do the same! I'll be back here soon. (Just gotta get through two more final exams!!!)

Lots of love,

Rachel xoxo


P.s. Eventually I want to change the way my blog looks haha, bare with me and the fact that I'm literally using a template that came with blogspot. I don't exactly know how to get this html. thing down hahahaha.